Placeholder vs Dream Girl Energy: 20 Steps to Feminine Empowerment

Welcome my delicious baby chicken. Welcome to the podcast. We are here. Get used to it. Today I want to talk to you

about placeholder versus dream girl energy. Okay, pick me versus that girl energy. Why? Because you have a lot of

questions. You ask me what does it mean? What do I do? So, I'm going to give you energy vibes of what she is and what she

does. And then I'm going to give you a what? An example. I'm going to give you an example in 20 steps. And you know why

we're doing this today? Because the code to all of this is feminine energy. And in October and November, you know what's

happening, baby girl? I am bringing back become her my feminine energy 8week master class, right? eight weeks, eight

lessons, half an hour video, workbooks, all of that good stuff is back. And

there's a live and a Q&A at the end of it. And I am excited. But in order to launch it, we got to

launch it properly. We got to tell you about feminine energy and how strongly it is coded with everything to do with

being that goral. And I want that for you. I want that for you. I'm checking my face because I had rejurently

under my eyes. Little tiny injections of salmon semen. Yes, let us use the salmon semen. Let the men do something for us

for a change. Okay. Okay, guys. And then yeah, I also had Profilo for the lower face if you guys are interested. I do

not gatekeep. Why would I gatekeep? Who even is she? Who gatekeeps these days? Everyone can just go and find out what

you do online anyway. So, I love to have a little bit of a sharing moments, but I will jump into these because you don't

have the time. And I do have the time today. I have the time. My nanny came back from being away for 2 months. And

you know, I found out I can do it all anyway. But it's so nice to have somebody. I value her more than I value

my husband. Jokes aside, they're quite even actually. Anyone who has a nanny will know that nannies and husbands are

kind of like on the same level of of importance. Number one placeholder energy is trying to prove her value to

be chosen by some guy. If you guys are on my Instagram, you know Jake, you know Derek, you know those guys, right? I do

memes about them. And you guys give me grief for using AI to generate those images. As if I'm going to go hunt down

real men, take photos of them, and post real men online. It's supposed to be AI, baby. It's supposed to be a little bit

cringy, a little bit funny, but the slogans of what those men say are golden. So go check those out on my

Instagram, margarita.nzareno, and follow me there if you're a real one. But placeholder energy is trying to prove

her value to be chosen by Jake. Okay. Dream girl energy knows she is the prize and she waits for him to prove himself

to her. So it's where is the energy going? Are you trying to prove yourself to him or is are you waiting for him to

prove to you? Are you the judge or are you the auditione? Are you Simon Cowell or are you there on American Idol like

pick me, choose me. Okay, for an example, this is the example of number one. A girl bakes him cookies on a date

to show that she's wifey material. She's girlfriend material. Please wife me, please give me the rings so I can do

things for you and have your children. Please, please, please. That is pickme energy. That is okay. Uh, as Shar would

say, pick Misha. Okay. And the dream girl enjoys the date that he took her on because he's auditioning for her. Thanks

him genuinely and lets him follow up to take her out again because who's auditioning, ladies and g? He's

auditioning. Why are you making him cookies? What are you trying to prove that you're a good little homemaker?

Okay, you can make him cookies for his birthday. You can do it if you genuinely are a cookie baker and you love it and

you just making it for all your friends and he's one of them. Okay, that is a very lovely thing to do. Do you need to

audition to be his wife? No, you don't. Let him discover those things. Let those things unfold like a like a joyful book.

Okay, number two, placeholder energy. Accepts inconsistent efforts. The connection feels strong like like she

will accept loweffort energy. She will accept random miscommunications. She will accept and

make excuses for things because the connection feels strong. Because he Do you know what we do? Can I just tell you

this right off the bat? I'll tell you this right now. What we do as women is we pretend that someone's our future

husband. Like we let things slide because he's our future husband. Because at the end of the day, I hate to say

this to you, but biologically speaking, you've slept with him and your body decided that you might have got pregnant

from him. So therefore, he might be your future baby, your future husband. That is all that's happening in your little

biological self. Okay? That's what's happening. I'm not going to be harsh to you. I'm just going to be honest. Okay?

So now you're accepting inconsistencies cuz you're like, "Oh, he's the father of my children." No, he's not. You've met

Jake yesterday and you slept with him once. Okay. Dream girl energy requires consistency because her standard is

stability. Standard is stability. I don't need stress in my life from you, Derek. Who are you? You've stressed out

your mom, your sister, and your whole community, and now you've come for me. Leave me alone. An example is he texts

once a week, but you cling to the fact that we've got amazing chemistry. Oh my god, he's so cute. He's so pretty. He's

so good-looking. What are you going to do with him? Are you going to frame him and look at him? Like, why? The dream

girl sees inconsistencies as a red flag and moves on or at least does not pursue him. Again, we return to number one. She

lets him audition for her. What kind of audition is that? If you're a boss and you're hiring someone in a company and

they're inconsistent, they don't show up for work, then you're not going to hire them. Why do you want to wipe the butt

of someone else's son all your life? I'm bored. You're bored. We're all bored. Okay. Number three, placeholder energy.

You over give to feel indispensable. You think that your worth in this world is bought by doing stuff as opposed to

being yourself in order to become indispensable to people like you'll do enough like like I mentioned for example

my nanny for my children. She has become somebody who's like a a best friend to me and she's around. Keep in mind I have

her 2 days a week. Don't get too excited, right? But she's become indispensable. Also, it's hard for me to

find someone else who I'm used to, my kids are used to, and all these things. Okay, it's hard. So, you are trying to

do that with a man. Why is he paying you like I'm paying my nanny? Why? Dream gut energy receives generously and

allows a man to invest in her as opposed to you giving him a lot of stuff. You allow him to invest in you. Because

I've told you this from the beginning. I told you that the more a man invests in you, the more you become indispensable

to him. You believe that the more you invest in him, the more you become indispensable. That is wrong, Cookie.

That is wrong, my little rock candy. The correct thing is is that if he invests in you, like they love to invest in

their Ferraris, their cars, their Ferraris and cars are the same thing, girl. In their projects, they become so

obsessed with it with their swing at golf or whatever they super invest in, they become obsessed with. Let that be

you. An example is you offer to drive him to the airport, right, at 5:00 a.m. to prove that you care when you've got

to go to work and you've got children and you got all this stuff and you wake up at the crack of dawn and you do these

things and you flip over backwards and then you're resentful. That's the worst part. If you genuinely wake up at 4:00

and you are there and he's with you and you drive him, that's no problem. But if you're going to be resentful for it and

think that he is going to thank you somehow and love you more, you are ronsky. The dream girl says, "Safe

flight, baby." and goes to bed and doesn't even wake up at 5:00. Why are you waking up at 5:00? It's a madness.

Tell me why I park in the back of the parking lot in order to create my podcast from the car because this is

where you guys love it. I think this is where we are most authentic. By the way, a studio is coming soon. I half suspect

I'm going to spend an arm and a leg on it and everyone's going to hate it and I'm going to be back in the car. But we

must try. Tell me why I'm parked here and everyone in their family is now parked around me. Not even parked around

me, but like standing outside looking at me. They want to listen to the wisdom. Okay, that's fine. Number four,

placeholder type energy. Stays silent when something bothers you and is afraid to lose him by saying that you don't

like something. You are afraid to set a boundary because you are afraid that Jakey Jakey will leave you. Can you

imagine a lifetime of that? Can you imagine when you're not so obsessed with him anymore and you've got children

together and you've done all these back flips in order to impress him and you've stayed silent and now he doesn't know

you. And because he doesn't know you, he doesn't even know how to impress you. And it's just a cluster fluff. A dream

girl speaks her truth. Okay? She says what it is calmly and trusts the right man won't leave. But he is the crux. She

does not berate. She does not go on about it. She's not jaba jaba jaba yapping around. Right? She says it once.

That is a boundary. What you're willing to settle for, not how you're trying to change someone. For example, he cancels

last minute again. And the placeholder smiles. Yeah, it's fine. He's busy. It's okay. He's busy. You know, you know, he

works for a bank. He's busy. And Dream Girl says, "Hey, you're cancelling again. I really value reliability, but

don't worry. We'll we'll do it next time." What that means is we won't do it next time. Next time she's going to be

busy, okay? It doesn't work for you. It does not work for you. But you under no circumstance berate someone or try to

reparent someone. Never do that. No, they're not your son. No, they're not. You know how bras and underwear can

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you place your order, you need to make sure you let them know that I sent you your girl. Select podcast in the survey

and then choose my show being her with Margarita in the drop-own menu. Number five, a placeholder thinks boundaries

will scare people away. Whilst a dream girl knows that boundaries actually create attraction. The one superpower we

have as women, and you might not believe me, is the ability to say no. The women that are most yearned for are the women

who are hard to get, the women who are hard to please, and the women that are a little bit mean. Okay? It's just the way

it is. Okay? Let's say a placeholder lets him call her at 1:00 a.m. for hookups. He comes

over. She's okay with it. Blah blah blah. A dream girl says, "Sorry, too late for me." You think that he is going

to run away because it's too late for you. Do you know who's going to run away? A man who's only using you for

seex. That's the only person who's going to run away. If he's a husband like you potentially think he is, he's not going

to run away. He's going to respect that. Number six, a placeholder type energy waits around for maybe plans. It's like

he's not sure. Maybe we'll lock it in. I'm not sure. I'll see how it is. What time we'll finish work. A dream girl

values her time. That's another reason why putting into your looks is an amazingly great thing to do as a woman

because not only does it denote your beauty in the world and that's fantastic because you are a beautiful creature and

you should be revered for your unicorn-like aesthetics, but it also denotes to people straight away from

jump when they look at you that you put time, effort, and energy and money into yourself and to not mess around with

that. It's not a joke. We're not playing around. A dream girl, a high value woman values her time and she if he doesn't

confirm then then she's not there for it. Easy to be around, hard to get. That's the formula. Easy to be around,

hard to get. Okay. For example, a placeholder clears her Friday cuz he might be free just in case. Whilst if a

dream girl, if he's not booked something, then the day is gone. Even if he comes back last minute, the day is

gone. Baby Jakey, it's gone. You didn't jump on the train. The train gone. Number seven, placeholder reads into

breadcrumbming like um like little bits of attention or story views as if he's interested. What he's interested in is

knowing that you'll still stick around and how little of um energy he needs to give you for you to still stick around.

A dream girl is nourished by real investment, not breadcrumbs. She wants a real steak, a real lobster. She does not

want breadcrumbs like a bird. Tiny little bird. Breadcrumbs. Okay, stop reading into them. They mean nothing.

They just mean he needs attention. Placeholder swoons over like a fire emoji that he put on your silly post.

Okay, we need a thirst strap. He's just seeing if you if you're going to react. Okay, dream girl. He starts a fire

emoji. She doesn't even notice. He doesn't she doesn't notice. Why is he even on Instagram? Go build a house. Why

are you even on Instagram? You're a man. Stop it. If I was a man, I would hide the fact that I ever go on Instagram.

Like, I'd be curious and I'd go unless I'm like one of those podcast bros. I would I would and I'm trying to run a

business or like a Gary Vee, I would not be caught dead on on Instagram. Like I would go, but I would hide it. It'd be

embarrassing for me. Number eight, placeholders think being easygoing means never asking for more. When I say easy

to be with, hard to get. I mean a joy to be with. You are a joy. You are a phoenix of a woman. You are amazing,

empowering, and you never bate people or nag them because that's deeply boring. But placeholder women, they they they

mistake it for being very easygoing means never asking for more, never asking for people to do better, never

asking for better behavior, never asking for any of that. A dream girl is feminine and soft and not afraid to have

standards. She's not afraid to ask for this or ask for that or ask to go to a nice dinner or ask to meet up somewhere

that he doesn't necessarily want to go. Or maybe ask for sushi as opposed to Mexican. I know you guys are scared of

that stuff. Okay, an example is anything's fine. Anywhere I want to eat, placeholder. Okay, it's boring. He

doesn't even know how to please you. Like, I'm deeply bored by you. A dream girl says, I'd love sushi tonight. She

just says what she wants. And if he doesn't deliver, that's fine. But you said what you want. You gave him the

manual of how to make you happy. Number nine, a placeholder collapses her desires to match his and a dream girl

holds her desires proudly and lets the wrong man self- select out. You are trying to cultivate a life here. You are

trying to cultivate a life for you and your future children. All of these thousands of people survived so you

could be here. You owe a duty to your ancestors and to your future children to have the life that you want to have. Do

not collapse and fold your dreams and your ideas of the life that you want to have for Jakey boy. He says he hates

kids. Oh, okay. Me, too. I don't want kids anymore. Okay. A dream girl say, "Oh, that's great for you. I do."

And stop hanging out with him so much because now he's not interesting to you with his no child having self. That's up

to him. That's up to him. That's his life, not yours. And you don't change that. You just say, "Oh, that that's

that's interesting. I do." That's that. Number 10. Um, a placeholder is afraid of being too much.

Jokes aside, I was always afraid of being too much. I have a bit of personality. I have a feeling of like

wanting connectivity, especially when I was very anxiously attached. I was always afraid of being too much. Okay? A

dream girl knows she's not too much. She's just not for everyone. You might be the juiciest peach, but not

everybody's going to like peaches. Okay? For example, a placeholder hides her passions to seem chill. Like, you know,

she wants to do something or she wants to go somewhere or something bothered her. She wants to be chill. A dream girl

is somebody who's fully embodied in themselves. Okay, you're fully embodied. If you're too much, you're too much.

Sometimes you guys follow social media in terms of like black cat energy is viral on Tik Tok and things. You're

like, "Oh, but I'm more of like a very happy go-lucky person. I'm very bubbly. Like, how how do I not be that way? How

do I be mysterious black cat?" No, you be a bubbly black cat. You be a bubbly ginger cat. You don't filter yourself

down in order to be like everybody else. Okay, that's the most boring thing to be. Number 11, placeholder energy feels

anxious if he pulls away. And I understand why you feel anxious because a lot of you are anxiously attached and

you read someone pulling away as you being abandoned as a child. But the news is you're not a child anymore. That's

the good news, okay? You're not a child anymore. Nobody could actually kill you by abandoning you. And as a child, you

literally feel that way. like you are, you will die if somebody abandons you. That's not the case anymore. You're

grown now. It's okay. While a dream girl practices detachment. If you haven't read about that, seen that, learned

about that, um it's everywhere on my channel. Write my name. Write detachment. You will learn a thing or

two that will save your life. Honestly, it saved my life. Okay. For example, placeholder spirals. If he doesn't

reply, she starts bombarding telling him why it's important to reply. Just for that little dopamine of like, he's

replied and that's it. Now you can be soothed. You should not be searching for that. You should be searching for that

soothing in yourself. A dream girl might feel those things, but she might go for a run. She will go journal. She will

know that the right man won't vanish on you. He will not abandon you. And if he does, you'd rather know sooner rather

than later. Dream girls do not not have feelings. They do have feelings. They just know that the man is not there to

fix them. You have to fix those feelings. If you feel anxious because he's not text you for 3 hours, you have

to work on that. Not him. There's no one who can filter your feelings for you. Emotional sovereignty and emotional

independence is way more important than financial. We all talk about financial going to be independent. Go make your

own money. But you're completely emotionally relying on him. Yeah. Number 12. Placeholders don't overexlain. Never

complain. Never explain. Dream girls just understand that she is who she is without apologizing or justification.

Yeah, she, for example, he asks to to lend him money. Yeah, a placeholder says, "I would, but my rent is due, but

my granny's sick and my car needs repairs. I'm really sorry." And a dream girl will just say, "No, I don't want

to. I can't." Or add, "I'm not comfortable with that. I don't lend money to people. I don't want to. What

are you going to do? Don't lend money to men." Okay, that's first of all, but second of all, they don't need an

excuse. 13. A placeholder waits to be chosen. The dream girl chooses someone who is worthy of her presence and

doesn't wait and moves on. She knows that if they want her so much, they will chase her afterwards. It's not like if

you walk away, that's it. He disappears into time unknown and and that's that. But a placeholder will wait 10, 20 years

to be chosen and then she can't have children because fertility is that for women that is shorter time frame than

men. But she's been waiting. Placeholders wait for months for them to finally commit their weight. They wait.

They wait. What are you waiting for? Oh, we're waiting to get to know each other. Do you know someone could change after

25 years of being with them? What are you waiting for? If he doesn't know that you are good enough in after 10 years,

how is he going to know after 20? Okay. Dream girl dates with intention. If he's not committing, she's dating other

people. By dating, I don't mean sleeping with the village. I mean dating other people, seeing who else can impress her.

Okay. 14. Placeholder. Accept situationships hoping they'll evolve. This is my pet peeve. I don't understand

this. I would I want to beat the car, but I won't because there's human beings walking around. They'll get scared and I

feel bad. Dream girl knows she's relationship material and she doesn't settle for half love because it's very

annoying. Like what is he what is a situationship? Basically, you're good enough but not

the dream girl. That's that's all that means and we're trying to decipher it. What does he mean, Jessica? What does he

mean, Rebecca? He means that you're great but not good enough. That's all that means. And that should not be such

a painful the re This is the thing about you guys. You don't accept it. You cannot accept that you're not someone's

dream girl. You cannot accept he must be confused. No, you're just not. You're just not it for him. Placeholders accept

we're just hanging out. We're just dating. We're just seeing each other. Dream girl's like, I want I want I I've

got I've got stuff to do, future to build, like things to to to create. What do you mean we're waiting? Not going to

happen. Sorry. 15. Placeholders think chemistry alone is enough. And a dream girl knows that character, values, and

all those things matter way more. Okay. like compatibility in life. An example is a placeholder overlooks reliability

and like values and who he is. You know, for example, he's got a kid, but he doesn't see his kid. And you're like,

"Yeah, but maybe it's the baby mama." No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. First of all, no, no, no, no, no. You

can't overlook those things. You have to see values as consistent. I only want kind people around me. I do not want

people like that around me. 16. Placeholder believes her worth rises and falls with his attention. Oh, he's

looking at me. Yay, I'm happy. He's not. Oh, I'm sad. A dream girl anchors her worth in herself and the life she's

created and her surroundings. He's paying me attention. Great. He's not paying me attention. Great. He's paying

me attention. Great. Detachment. Learn about it. It will save your life. Okay. A placeholder feels ugly if he doesn't

give her a compliment. Why haven't he complimented me? That used to be me in my 20ies. Why haven't you complimented

me? A compliment's lovely, but it's not going to make or break my day, baby. Okay. Dream girl knows that she is

radiant with or without his compliments. Maybe forgot. Okay, he forgot. Like he's a man. Why are we expecting uh

perfection from him? Just leave him alone. 17. Placeholders avoid mystery and overshare everything in order to

feel close. Uh they avoid mystery. They cannot hold a silence. They cannot hold a pause. Their their text messages look

like paragraphs submitted for a book. And a dream girl allows curiosity. She knows that she doesn't have to give

everything away on the first day. She allows it to like build and open out like chapters in a book. And

placeholders often meet someone and they trauma dump. You guys write to me, but how how can I not tell him that I got

abused in my last relationship on the first date in case he's also an abuser? Yeah, because an abuser is going to be

like, "Oh, no, she got abused before. I better not do it again." In fact, you're making yourself more vulnerable by

admitting you've been abused before on a first date to someone you don't know and who's not afforded that level of

intimacy. Okay. A dream girl gradually lets herself uh get to know a person and lets him in on on secrets like that,

family secrets and things. 18. A placeholder competes with other women for his intention. He looked at a woman

when we were a bar. He's talking to another woman when we were here. She's always competing all the time. A dream

girl does not compete. She understands very clearly that if she sees a pattern of behavior where he's always looking at

other women, always doing all those things, she's not going to be interested in him anymore. She's going to lose

interest. And if it happens once or twice, she will turn a blind eye because she knows that the moment she ars up

about it, let's say he glances at a waitress in a restaurant in a way you don't like. The moment you say, "Oh, I

saw you looking. Were you looking?" Number one, he's not going to tell you the truth because now he's scared and

intimidated. And number next is you're going to now look like you're competing with her. And that will mean that she

looks better than you. Never, ever, ever do that. Number 19. Placeholders feel lucky to be chosen. Like you're some

subpar meagle under the stairs and and you're lucky that some man looked at you. A dream girl knows that men are

great and it'll be great to have one at some point because relationships are great, but it's not like it's luck or

she's like won a medal. Okay. Placeholder energy is like I hope he picks me. And dream girls is like I see

my worth and I'm going to create a relationship with someone. It's just a very like that. And last but not least,

number 20. Placeholders settle for being good enough for someone for now and they

ignore the fact that they can see that he does not prioritize her, does not love her, does not want to be with her.

Whilst dream girls will walk away from a guy and risk losing him knowing that he is not putting his best into the

relationship and that she'll be fine without him. Okay. Placeholder is energies like let's have fun until he's

ready for something serious. we'll just hang out and then you'll be ready for something serious and I'll be there

lying like a doormat until he's ready for something serious. Okay? And a dream girl, she plans her life regardless

around what she wants. And if he does not join, then she's gone. Guys, I hope this landed. If you want to possess true

feminine energy and so this is very easy for you that you don't even have to think about it. You don't have to second

guess and you can breathe then come and do BH become her with me in October. It's open. I'll put it in

the links below. It's live. You get to ask your personal questions. I can't wait to see you there. Love you lots

like jelly tots. Bye. [Music] I want to find

love. Love you.

[Music]