Universal Flirting Techniques: How to Get Someone to Like You Back

Imagine this, you're talking to someone you like, when all of a sudden they fart. You put on your best poker face

and try to not make it awkward. Should I not say anything or should I say something? Maybe not saying anything is

awkward. Should I make a joke? Being funny is a good way to attract people. Oh no, maybe I should tease them. See,

there's so much advice out there about how to get people to like you back. And until I got a girlfriend, this really

confused me. One time there was this girl who I constantly made laugh. We had so much in common and she rejected me

because I had too much friendship vibes. And with my current girlfriend, I teased her a little bit but not much and we

ended up dating. There's no one way to get people to like you because people have types based on their previous

romantic and platonic interactions. Yes, like that's not very helpful and so there is universal flirting techniques

which whichever kind of general approach you use to attract people, you will use these flirting techniques. But

ultimately, do what feels right to you and you will attract the people who are right for you. And above all, don't do

anything that would seriously make them uncomfortable. Let's get into them.

>> [music] >> First one is facial expression. Let's take a look at two pictures. First one,

does this person look interested in you? They look a bit too co-worky to me. And how about this one? Does he look

interested? I would say so and I would hope so too. Tom Cruise, you know, you got to look

attracted especially with your eyes. Okay, don't practice in the mirror too much. You're probably pretty good at it.

It's more of a confidence thing. I'll get to confidence later. But on to A, admiration. By the way, all of these

have stages. So you won't go straight to like going really close and giving them a very flirtatious facial expression.

You'll start off a bit more chill. So, just make think about like would they honestly feel uncomfortable if I

did this? If not, you can give it a go. If you don't get a good response, then you pull back and you go very gradually.

Don't like cherry-pick happenings. Go, "Oh, they did this. So that must mean they're interested, I can do this. No.

For admiration, there's two parts, nonverbal and verbal. On the first date ever with my now girlfriend, I was doing

both of these. So, nonverbal, there was one point I think she was telling me about her career or something. I was

really I thought it was really cool how passionate she was about it. And so, I was just kind of looking at her with

this really interested look on my face, just really admiring her. Again, it's kind of like facial expression, it's

just kind of showing whatever you're feeling like fully, rather than just always having a bit of a neutral facial

expression, which is something I used to tend to do. Or, you can just skip nonverbal, go straight to verbal. You're

talking about how they just talked, you're not talking about the thing that they said. So, maybe you say, "I really

loved how passionate you were just then." Or, maybe you say, like I've said to this to my girlfriend, "I really like

how funny you are. You always You never fail to make me laugh." It's kind of compliments. I didn't put compliments on

here cuz like hurts, just doesn't work as well, but you know, give them some compliments, especially about stuff

that they can control, and you'll do pretty well. But, do them where they're actually deserved. Don't do flattery, do

genuinely sincere appreciation, which is where you're thinking something and you say what you're thinking, not you think,

"Oh, I've got to say something." For relationship talk, this is not, by the way, like how many babies are you going

to have with me? This is stuff like, "Oh, are you single? Oh, we're so similar, let's just get married. Come

on, get on your knee." I asked someone like, "Have you Did you have a New Year's kiss last year on New Year's?"

Stuff like that. It gets their minds thinking about relationships. For touch, here is a rough hierarchy starting with

the most safe down to the least safe and will absolutely ruin a friendship if you do this to someone who doesn't like you.

All of these can be done as friends. Okay, maybe not like hand on thigh, most of them can be done as friends. So, it's

really about how you do it, which is with the facial expression, with a certain tone. You guys probably know how

to do this. You've seen so many movies, you've seen it done so many times. It's a confidence thing, maybe a tiny bit of

a practice thing, but you'll you'll be fine. So, because it's gradual, you can stand slightly closer. Okay,

activity involving touch. You can pass them things. You can pass them a glass of water or something.

Nice earrings. That's by the way, most of these are taken from one of my female friends who

just basically gave me a rundown. I was like, I don't know what to do and they were like, this is what to do. So, this

is straight from the source. And if you're a woman, most of this would work on guys as a guy. You know, you just

like go nice earrings and then you go like you reach over. If they lean back, then obviously don't touch them.

Hand on their thigh or their back, that's pretty advanced. And then obviously holding their hands, again

very advanced. And dance. And if they don't seem comfortable they just say no to any of these, you just go back to an

earlier one or you go up here. It doesn't necessarily mean that they've rejected you and it's over and they

don't like you. I've had that before where they've haven't wanted their hand on their thigh, I've gone too far, but

then like later they've been fine with that and we've made out. And one more touch thing, you can couch shoulders.

Okay, that's enough about talking about farts. Now, if you're worried that some of this stuff isn't going to work or you

just feel like, well, I can't flirt with them yet because, you know, they don't actually like me yet or we're just

friends right now. There's a couple things you can do to just build the romantic attraction. This

is a block of obsidian. So, a common mistake I see that I used to do a little bit is that when they they take the

advice like, oh, be nonchalant, like don't show your hand, don't show that you like them, don't be obsessed. And

they take that to mean, oh, I shouldn't try very hard in conversations. That's basically equivalent of using a wooden

pickaxe and expecting to mine a block of obsidian. It's not going to happen. You need to put in a lot of effort as in you

need to use a diamond pickaxe. You need to really try hard to be funny. You need to listen to what they're saying. You

need to remember, you need to follow up. You need to have really good conversations. And on top of that, even

if you have a diamond pickaxe, if you're trying really hard, but then you pull away too quickly, you stop mining,

you're not going to mine the obsidian. There is a certain amount of duration that you have to do. You have to talk to

people a lot if you want them to like you. If you just talk to them every now and then, they're probably not going to

like you. That's what I found anyway. Maybe you've had a different experience. And the way I balance this with not

seeming too obsessed with them, you can be doing other stuff. So, for example, I'm working on YouTube a lot of the

time. I don't really reply to people much in the morning. So, I'm not that person who's constantly replying back.

Some of the time I am replying, so we get good conversations, but some of the time I'm not. I'm busy mining coal. And

then when you do give like the person you're interested in your attention, you're giving them all of your

attention. And the biggest thing that helps with that is having self-confidence that you can actually

mine this obsidian. Understand that you probably have the tools. If you don't, you can work on that. The obsidian, like

they are right for you, and if they're not, there's nothing you can do about that. And when you have this kind of

security, you give these other things like your friends and your work the correct priority. You don't shove them

aside so you don't make everything about the relationship. And that allows you to not seem too

obsessed, too needy. You don't need to do some like technique to try and get them to like you where

you seem disinterested because you're worried that they won't seem interested in you. Just have confidence. Like you

you got this. And then finally, a lot of this stuff I mentioned, flirting, but genuinely just having really good

conversations, which will make them attracted to you, comes down to confidence. So, here are three reframes

which will help you. The first one is to imagine like who do you want to be in the future? It's kind of like in Atomic

Habits, every action you take is a vote for the person you want to become. Who do you want to become in the future? Do

you want to become the person who doesn't go up and talk to the the person you like. Do you want to become the

person who just is finds it easy to get in relationships and is very charismatic and let that guide your action. Build a

habit of just asking yourself this question like who do I want to be? The second one is to kind of evaluate them.

Don't focus so much on whether they like you, focus on whether you like them. It's going to allow you to just do the

right proportions of stuff, not seem too needy. It's going to make you confident cuz you're not focused on, you know,

everything you do whether it's wrong, evaluating whether they like you. Evaluate them. Ask some questions about

what you want to know about them. Don't say what you think will make them like you. Say what you genuinely want to know

about them. And then the third thing, try to have as much fun as you can. The more you try and do that, you try to

make take the conversation in a more fun way, you try to do more fun activities, you try to just be a more fun person, or

you just have a more fun, lighter mindset, you're going to have better conversations, you're going to be more

fun to be around. And so they're going to like you more. And on top of that, you'll be more confident because you'll

be focusing less on your anxiety and whether they like you and more on just enjoying yourself. All of these in

moderation, obviously, don't focus too much on evaluating them, don't focus too much on having fun,

but focus more on having fun. Okay, here are the actionable steps. First, decide do you need to put more effort into

actually going and talking to them? Maybe if they don't seem interested in you, it may be worth just trying talking

to them a little bit more. And if that gets a negative response, if they don't seem to like that, then you back off.

But you do need to put in a lot of effort into conversations and into talking to them more often to get them

to like you. Secondly, do you need to flirt? Are you up to the stage to to follow the FAR acronym? Can you like try

standing a little bit closer to them or something? Or are you just up to the stage where you should just be trying to

have good conversations? Especially if they're like your friend right now, or you're in a class together, or you're

co-workers or something. Finally, on the way to go and talk to that person you're interested in, make sure you remind

yourself of those confident reframes. There's a very different thing between like intellectually agreeing with that

and truly believing it and following the advice. And as you are going to the thing, maybe like you're walking to the

lunch room or something, you're going to see that person, you're driving somewhere, remind yourself of that. Just

keep doing that. And finally, remember I couldn't find an exact statistic, but between 1 in 10 and 1 in 4 people meet

their life partner after the age of 40. If you were to just treat it like, "Hey, like it would be really good if this

worked, but if it doesn't, it's okay." You will have much better chances. And just as importantly, you will feel

happier. So, I hope this stuff helped. Remember to actually do these. Don't do nothing, and have an amazing day.